San Pedro Welcomes Lesbian Golfers!
Okay, we know they're not all lesbians, but I love reinforcing sexist stereotypes at the expense of marginalised and opressed populations, for the sake of a good post title.
Well, it's finally here, the grand re-re-opening of what is now the Trump National Golf Course, aka Ocean Trails, aka the Zuckerman family's contribution to native habitat destruction in the name of yuppie values. If there was ever a two-bit, shoddily golf course that wasn't needed (there are three of these "wastes of space" on the Peninsula alone), this is it. This is a lesson in turd polishing, that yes, you can polish a turd, and if the polisher is Donald Trump, you might just fool someone into thinking the turd has value.
Well, don't think that little old San Pedro wasn't invited to the party by our big brothers in Palos Verdes. We get to play parking lot! There was a lot of hullaballo about this back when the Breeze covered it and Random Lengths covered their coverage. Much of the local furor and fuss revolved around a creative conspiracy theory involving building parking lots on areas that the community wants as green space and then keeping them permanently as part of the Bridge to Breakwater development. Turns out they were just going to use our existing assets as their parking lot, so we were just getting shat on, not built into a toilet and shat in. In other words, free luxury cars to the bolder car theives in San Pedro this weekend. Sharpen your coat hangers and jimmys, boys!
But wait now, the official webpage for the Office Depot Championship currently doesn't list San Pedro as a place to park. Is this an oversight, a change in plans, or a sign that they failed to attract audience to this event (crosses fingers) and don't need to bother us with their excess of luxury automobiles? Anyways, keep an eye out for lost yuppies and women in comfortable shoes this weekend.
Oh, and what's missing from this picture? If you guessed nature, then you get a goddamn gold star.
Well, it's finally here, the grand re-re-opening of what is now the Trump National Golf Course, aka Ocean Trails, aka the Zuckerman family's contribution to native habitat destruction in the name of yuppie values. If there was ever a two-bit, shoddily golf course that wasn't needed (there are three of these "wastes of space" on the Peninsula alone), this is it. This is a lesson in turd polishing, that yes, you can polish a turd, and if the polisher is Donald Trump, you might just fool someone into thinking the turd has value.
Well, don't think that little old San Pedro wasn't invited to the party by our big brothers in Palos Verdes. We get to play parking lot! There was a lot of hullaballo about this back when the Breeze covered it and Random Lengths covered their coverage. Much of the local furor and fuss revolved around a creative conspiracy theory involving building parking lots on areas that the community wants as green space and then keeping them permanently as part of the Bridge to Breakwater development. Turns out they were just going to use our existing assets as their parking lot, so we were just getting shat on, not built into a toilet and shat in. In other words, free luxury cars to the bolder car theives in San Pedro this weekend. Sharpen your coat hangers and jimmys, boys!
But wait now, the official webpage for the Office Depot Championship currently doesn't list San Pedro as a place to park. Is this an oversight, a change in plans, or a sign that they failed to attract audience to this event (crosses fingers) and don't need to bother us with their excess of luxury automobiles? Anyways, keep an eye out for lost yuppies and women in comfortable shoes this weekend.
Oh, and what's missing from this picture? If you guessed nature, then you get a goddamn gold star.
4 Comments:
That picture is beautiful. Can I be buried there?
Oh, and by the way, you're fired!
No, but you can have your ashes formed into a urinal cake that will be graced by some of America's biggest jag offs, or locals who aspire to be huge jag offs.
I had a lot of trouble keeping this post on the point, and not degenerating into a total rant. Due to circumstances, I've had more interactions with the Zuckerman family and Ocean Trails than I like to think about. I'll have to work up a good bourbon soaked rage and disclose the sources of my personal hatred for this groomed wasteland. Feel free to mail buorbon to....
i'd like someone to bake me a face cake at my funeral.
I've never had any personal interaction with the Zuckerman family, but I've spent most of my adult life despising them for destroying what used to be a beautiful refuge, not just for plants and critters but for local kids and adults wanting to get away from it all for a while. I was so happy in 1999 when the 18th hole fell into the ocean; needless to say, I've been praying to the rain gods ever since to finish the job. And take fucking Trump with them.
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